Monday, August 12, 2002

Premiere Problems

Controversy continues to swirl around "La Grande Salsiccia", the latest film from Dog Food Productions. Only after a crowd of near-celebrities and sophisticates had gathered on the evening of July 27th for the promised premiere was it revealed that director R. Strother had held back several reels of the movie when handing it over to investors. The result was a film without a third act, and many unhappy patrons demanded their 50 cents admission back. There was little surprise in the industry that Strother would pull such a stunt, as he was unhappy with the way the film had been unceremoniously yanked from his hands. A lawsuit has already been filed by the investors that would force Strother to turn over the remaining reels or the finished film by October 1st, 2002. Stay tuned for news on the grand re-premiere. (Early reviews of the "rough cut" are on the "Films" page.)

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Opening Night

The world premiere of "La Grande Salsiccia" will be held on July 27th at the Ghio/Raap estate. The pre-show gathering by the pool begins at 4:00 p.m., the premiere will be as soon as it gets seriously dark.

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Power Struggle

In what seemed an inevitable move, control of the long-promised international film from Dog Food Productions has been wrested from its director, R. Strother. After endless delays, the news came as a surprise to few, and it now seems that the director's worst fears will be realized the film will not be released to American audiences with the original Italian dialogue intact, but in a hastily prepared, dubbed version. Strother could not be reached for comment, but did send a terse missive to the press, which we quote in full: "I don't know what you're going to see on July 27th ... but don't blame me if it's a piece of crap."

Thursday, June 20, 2002

News About the Latest Release

With a deadline looming, R. Strother is scrambling to complete the much-delayed latest film from Dog Food Productions. He even went so far as to commit to a firm date via a memo to the press. "The film premiere will be on July 27th. That's July 27th, 2002. Guaranteed. Now leave me alone and let me finish my film." One source who viewed an incomplete rough cut of the film described it as "...an incoherent mess... it should've stayed in the can another three years. No amount of retooling could help this picture." However, another anonymous informant reported that the film is "....a masterwork. Those lucky enough to see it will owe a great debt to director R. Strother." [ Note: It has since been uncovered that this "anonymous" source was R. Strother himself.] Travesty or masterpiece? On July 27th, the public will judge for themselves.

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Press Conference

A press conference was held late Sunday night at the offices of Dog Food Productions to announce yet another postponement of the latest release from the studio. In attendance were Dog Food stalwarts Kelly Crosby, Richard Lane, Cal Slayton and R. Strother.

Conspicuous in his absence was Jimmy Ghio, who has been the subject of recent rumors which have him officially retiring from acting to pursue his true love of interior design and Feng Shui consulting with his companion, Felipe. "Those rumors are nonsense!" shouted director Strother when the subject was broached. "Those guys are just friends. Believe me, Jim Ghio is as much of a regular, womanizing heterosexual as the next guy." Next to Strother was former "Wham" singer George Michael, who apparently stopped by for some free publicity.

After refusing to answer questions explaining the latest delay in post production on the new film, the conference erupted into a brawl when Strother suggested that there may be some scenes yet to film. As reporters beat a hasty retreat, Crosby, Lane, Slayton and Strother were cursing and raining blows on each other and it appeared to this observer that George Michael was caught in the middle and getting the worst of it. There has been no further word on a release date from the studio.

Monday, February 04, 2002

10 Questions with R. Strother

Dog Food star Cal Slayton makes an appearance this month in the Web Zine Sequential Tart . Cal did the cover art for this month's issue and consented to an interview as well, which you'll find in the "13 Questions" column. Inspired by this (and hungry for more Dog Food news), we e-mailed 10 questions to director R. Strother. Suprisingly, he responded.

1. How's the progress on the new, untitled foreign film going?

Slowly. This film is epic in scale, and to construct the action of each complex scene while still preserving the nuances of the performances is a daunting task. Plus, I've spent the last two weeks on a drunken binge.

2. Will it be faithful to the book?

Well, we threw out that whole romantic subplot, but I don't think anybody will mind.

3. What do you think of Cal Slayton's comic book work?
Cal's very talented. Just as long as he doesn't let his little moonlighting activity get in the way of his duties as a Dog Food performer, we won't have a problem.

4. We hear Richard Lane is about to be a father. Will this have an impact on his time as a Dog Food actor?
Again, I understand these guys have their own lives. So long as they don't let these little trivialities affect their ability to show up on time on the day of the shoot, everything will be fine.

5. You shocked everyone by making your last short film without Jim Ghio. Will Ghio's star be eclipsed by Slayton?
Jim Ghio has been an excellent star. But sometimes a little competition between actors is healthy for their performances, you know what I mean?

6. Insiders are saying that Kelly Crosby only appears in a few scenes in the new film. Is there a reason?
Crosby's becoming a problem.

7. What about the rumor that the new film will be released in a dubbed version?
Never. Crosby, Lane and Slayton spent months learning their lines in Italian phonectically, and getting them through it was too much work to toss away. Conversely, Ghio already speaks fluent Italian and the problem there was getting him to stop.

8. Much has been made about the walk-on from George Clooney. Can we expect any other surprise guest appearances?

Heh-heh-heh... yes.

9. Are there any big scenes that were filmed but will not make it into the final cut?

I've already cut Ghio's big nude scene, so you won't be seeing that. I didn't want to lose the female audience.

10. Do you think audiences will respond to the new film?

Probably not, after all this phoney-baloney hype. It's just a shot-on-video piece of crap, you know.

Friday, January 25, 2002

Post Production

A spokesman for director R. Strother reports that the new, still-untitled foreign film is finally moving ahead with post-production. The promised February premiere however, is in question. "The problem, really," the spokesman said, "is getting Strother to keep at it. There was an editing session last week that started well, but when we went to check on him we found that he'd spent the last six hours downloading videos of girls wrestling in marinara sauce. We're thinking of hiring someone to keep tabs on him." That might prove tricky, however, as Strother has a history of disappearing for long periods when a deadline is looming. Only last month he was spotted in a Los Angeles nightclub with former "Hee-Haw Honey" Misty Rowe on his arm when he was due at a scheduled meeting with investors some 1500 miles away. Adding to the complications of getting the film finished are rumors that investors will pressure Strother to release the film in a dubbed (rather than subtitled) print for domestic release. On this point, Strother has been quoted only as saying, "Over my dead body will they dub this film."