Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Press Conference

A press conference was held late Sunday night at the offices of Dog Food Productions to announce yet another postponement of the latest release from the studio. In attendance were Dog Food stalwarts Kelly Crosby, Richard Lane, Cal Slayton and R. Strother.

Conspicuous in his absence was Jimmy Ghio, who has been the subject of recent rumors which have him officially retiring from acting to pursue his true love of interior design and Feng Shui consulting with his companion, Felipe. "Those rumors are nonsense!" shouted director Strother when the subject was broached. "Those guys are just friends. Believe me, Jim Ghio is as much of a regular, womanizing heterosexual as the next guy." Next to Strother was former "Wham" singer George Michael, who apparently stopped by for some free publicity.

After refusing to answer questions explaining the latest delay in post production on the new film, the conference erupted into a brawl when Strother suggested that there may be some scenes yet to film. As reporters beat a hasty retreat, Crosby, Lane, Slayton and Strother were cursing and raining blows on each other and it appeared to this observer that George Michael was caught in the middle and getting the worst of it. There has been no further word on a release date from the studio.