Monday, December 10, 2007

The Dog Food Collection

11:24 AM EST, December 10, 2007, OXNARD, Ca.

Soon, happy consumers will be able to throw away their old, worn-out VHS copies of "Citizen Pate", "Mondo Ghio", and other Dog Food Productions classics with the release of "The Dog Food Collection" on DVD in 2008. R. Strother, director and leading tyrant of Dog Food Productions, discovered the DVD format just last year. "It's amazing," said Strother at a rare press junket. "It's like a CD, but you can put a movie on it." Strother's infatuation with the "new" format has sparred the remastering of all films in the Dog Food catalog. Some insiders fear that the release will be delayed by the director's incessant habit for retooling old work. "It's always been my belief," Strother was quoted as saying, "that these films would benefit from modern technology." His stated plans include replacing the cardboard characters Don and Pate with CGI counterparts and adding back scenes that were deleted after negative audience previews. "I still say the bordello scene from 'The Big Sausage' was a masterwork, and it's back in", claims Strother. "And when the fully restored 'Cool Yule II' is released, the world will see that Cronenberg was not the first to film a naked steambath knife fight." Strother went on to hint that in the extended version of "The Solicitor", audiences will see "what really happened in that pool". "The Dog Food Collection" on DVD is slated for a summer 2008 release. The press has been unanimous in its opinion that Strother will fail to deliver.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Sign of the Apocalypse

Once again, Dog Food Productions participated in the Video Association of Dallas’ 24 Hour Video Race. Before, we get to the results; let’s examine our past performances:

2003 - Finished our film in time, but were unable to get it on the tape they required. That hurt.

2004 - Finished our film in time, made the deadline, had it screened, didn’t make the finals.

2006 - Finished our film in time, made the deadline, had it screened, made the finals, didn’t place.

It’s 2007 and I’m proud to say… We won 3rd place in our division. Yeah, it’s not first or second place, but we did win something for our efforts. See semi-snazzy trophy below.

With this pattern, maybe we’ll get second place in 2008 and win in 2009? Could be.

What was disappointing to us is that we were unable to do everything in the film that we had planned. We were getting down to the wire in the editing stage, trying to improve some audio and ran out of time. We left off a funny joke and didn’t get the end credits added, which would have ended our film on a laugh (in theory).

Hey, it’s a race and that’s what it’s all about. We can only blame ourselves for not turning in the film we wanted to. But we did place and we’re happy with that. The night of the race, we were happy just getting it in on time. We made it in at 11:58.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Alibi

Back after a one year absence. Rested and Ready. It's... us again. Dog Food is back in the race. The 24 Hour Video Race that is. Believe it or not, we finished in time and we advanced to the finals. There's a shocker! "The Alibi" is a 4 and a half minute thrill ride that takes the audience on twists and turns through such exotic locales as a business park in Frisco, Texas to a teenager's bedroom to... um, to... well, I guess that's it really.

Theme: Cover Story
Prop: A measuring device
Line of dialogue: "That's what I'm talking about."
Location: Statue or other public art