Thursday, May 29, 2008

Comm Serv Sec Plac for DF

As surely as the swallows return annually to Capistrano, each year the gang of Dog Food idiots flocks to the 24-Hour Video Race, presented by the Video Association of Dallas. This year our entry "Community Service" was somehow voted next-to-least-worst video in the "Auteur" division -- that's second place, folks. As in, just behind first! Truly, there were some fine competitors this year... and then there was us. Hop on over to the "Films" page for an update on our latest epic.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Press release 05/24/2008

12:05 AM EST, May 24, 2008, OXNARD, Ca.

Trouble is brewing once again at Dog Food Productions like a late-night pot of cheap joe. After director R. Strother off-handedly referred to his acting team as "knuckleheads" and "no-goodniks" at the Angelika screening of "Community Service", petulant returning member Kelly Crosby fired off a haughty retort, which we quote in full here:

"By the way Mr. Strothers... Expect to hear from my attorneys in regards to defamation of character! I resent this public announcement during your acceptance speech last night!............"Knuckled head".....HURUMPH! Knuckled head indeed! Oh you know what I’m talking about............oh you know................

This isn't over Strothers...............not by a long that that....

Good day sir.............I SAID..... GOOD DAY!"

Strother's reply was predictably terse, though he did manage to sneak in a plug:

"Crosby's being a big baby because we didn't have his mint juleps and finger sandwiches waiting for him when he arrived on the set. He's just putting on a big show in the hopes that his salary for out next film -- "A Christmas Sausage", due to arrive December 2008 -- will be inflated. Fat chance."

The Video Race finals are being held on Tuesday the 27th. Expectations of a further controversy are low, since no "acceptance speech" is anticipated.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Where did we go right?

Last night at the Angelika Film Center in Dallas, "Community Service", our entry in the 2008 24-Hour Video Race, advanced to the finals with two other worthy competitors. And no, wise guy, there weren't only three to pick from. In fact, psychiatric and medical evaluations were performed on all the judges at the end of the evening, and apparently they were neither drunk nor insane... so it would appear that the results are legitimate. If you missed the screening, you have another chance to sit through our latest "gag"-fest next Tuesday at the same location. Just be sure to bring five bucks and plenty of Bromo-Seltzer.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

We're makin' a film here, boss!

Well, friends and enemies, Dog Food Productions once again completed the 24-Hour Video Race on time, so tonight you will be able to see your favorite knuckleheads on the big screen as our new short, "Community Service" premieres. The filming was an auspicious event which marked the return of Jimmy Ghio and Kelly Crosby to the Dog Food fold. That's right, all four original Dog Food cast members participated... that's four times the laughs for us and four times the agony for all of you!

2008 Requirements:
Theme: Twist of Fate
Location: Anywhere a sport is played
Prop: A key
Line of dialogue: "What's this going to cost me?"

Admit it, you're dying to know what manner of crap we came up with. See it at the Angelika Film Center in Dallas tonight, or just watch this space for empty promises of posting it here.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Dog Fight!

Dog Food Productions will compete tonight in their fifth "24-Hour Video Race", and the project already appears to be in jeopardy. Returning cast member Kelly Crosby has issued outrageous demands for the honor of his presence, including Evian water chilled to precisely 68 degrees; a no-nudity clause; and a stern admonition that any use of the words "tostado" or "cloak" be stricken from the script. Both Richard Lane and Cal Slayton, the team's most reliable members, have expressed doubt about their ability to endure Crosby's dilettantish antics. In addition, Dog Food star Jimmy Ghio is out of town and may not return in time for the race, and director R. Strother was reportedly seen late last night drinking solo from a Scorpion Bowl at Trader Vic's instead of getting the much-needed sleep the race requires. Does this brewing storm mean disaster for Dog Food Productions? Will this be a repeat of their freshman failure to deliver the video on time? We'll report the news here shortly, ugly though it may be.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Night of the Living Dog Food Idiots!

Hello, Dog Food fans. Be sure to watch this space closely in the coming days for updates, as the cast you love to despise once again participates in the annual Video Association of Dallas "24-Hour Video Race". This will be the Dog Food crew's fifth year (see earlier entries above) and this marks a reunion of sorts, with Kelly Crosby returning to the cast for the first time since 2003, and the potential appearance of the elusive Jimmy Ghio. Getting this cast back together was no easy or inexpensive task, as they all bear obscure grudges against each other. "Yeah... I guess I'm going to be there. But I am not looking forward to working with Strother again", said prima donna Crosby, fanning himself with a stack of 100 dollar bills. Ghio did not confirm that he will take part in the race, but does promise to wear pants for once if he does appear. Expect sporadic updates on this site in the form of a production diary from irritable director R. Strother leading up to, and after the race. Expect it... and then be disappointed.